Fight or Flight: in the Face of Minimum Skills

Fight or Flight…in the face of MSTs (Yikes!)

So you have MSTs (Minimum Skills Test) coming up! Hooray!...or not so much.

Battling your mind during MST time will be your biggest enemy. You know which skills you need to work on, which ones you’re okay at, and then there are those that send you into a panic just thinking about (endurance, anyone?).

This may not be your first rodeo, either. Several days of testing, or perhaps you’ve been working for months toward this seemingly unreachable goal. The fear and anxiety that builds up feels like a container about to explode. You might want to talk about it to someone, but you feel like you might just burst into tears. Bottling it in almost seems easier than facing what’s coming up.

Get outta your mind!

Way easier said than done, I know. I failed endurance more times than I can count. It rattles your confidence. A lot. If you’re like me, you start questioning whether or not to continue. Fight or flight?

You’ve got it in you. Deep down, I promise. You’ve already started this quest. Lots of hard work, sweat, and tears later, you’ll come out the other side. Despite what you might tell yourself, you CAN conquer MSTs. It might take you longer. You might have to work twice as hard. You may have to beat your head against the wall over and over until you finally break through (figuratively, of course).

You have to convince yourself. You will be the hardest on yourself. If MSTs are coming up, and you’re freaking out, try some of these to help calm yourself.

Be ready. Not just skills-wise, I mean. Plan out what you want to wear for your outfit. Your most comfortable socks, your confidence-boosting leggings, your lucky tank—whatever it is that will help you feel at ease. Double check your gear bag. Do you have everything? Are your skates ready to go (wheels, bearings, etc.)?

Check your diet. Make sure that you are drinking enough water for the day. Right before practice isn’t enough—your body needs time to absorb it. Don’t eat a giant, heavy meal right before testing, but make sure you eat something that will sustain the energy you’re about to exert (nutritional, perhaps? Put down those Pizza Rolls!).

Start with skills you feel the most comfortable doing. These will help boost your confidence a little and get your mind ready for what you’re about to do. If you biff the skills you know you can do, you definitely know you need to take a deep breath and get out of your own head.

If possible, ask to do a test run. This probably won’t work for endurance, but for quick skills like jumps, falls, and one-legged glides, this should be okay (granted your lines aren’t super long). If you only have to perform a skill on one side of your body, make sure you’re using your “good side.” We all have one.

For partner drills, pair with someone that you trust. Feel comfortable with your buddy. If you don’t trust or feel comfortable with your blocking partner, you’re not going to do as well as you could with someone else. Also consider body types. You might want to pair with someone your height/build/etc. to help ensure that you’re going to get the best hip-check you can.

Cheering crowd, or no? You might have found a few derby sisters that want to cheer you on as you skate your endurance or test skills that you’ve been struggling with. Some people do better when they hear their friends screaming “Push it out, Bitter Sweets! FASTER! Crossover, crossover, crossover!” Or perhaps you want to be completely focused without the outward screaming (or watching) of your super-fan derby kin. Let these people know. They want to help you the best they can.

And the best advice I’ve ever gotten: Give a few less f*cks. Courtesy of Mojo Gogo, this little piece of advice has saved me a few times, and has also let me have more fun at practices. We put so much pressure on ourselves as Fresh Meat. MUST BE PERFECT. But it sometimes can hurt you. You become too afraid to fail, and you play it safe. By giving a few less f*cks, you can really begin to just go out there, give it hell, and say “Whatever” when you fall down.

I feel like I could do a whole post on giving a few less f*cks, but until next time:

Happy skating!

Bitter Sweets <3

Draft Night: Finally eligible for scrimmaging and being teamed after Fresh Meat training x2.

Heck yes, I am wearing a tutu. 

Poison Evie and Miki Malicious are there to congratulate me!

The Defeatist Attitude

“I suck. I suck. I SUCK.”

How many times have you said that to yourself this month? This week? Today, even?

So you had a bad practice. Or several practices. It’s okay. You can’t expect to be a fantastic piece of Fresh Meat every day. Everyone has bad practices. Most likely these are practices that focus on skills you haven’t mastered yet.

Practicing skills you are struggling with is part of the game. It’s so hard to put on a straight face when you feel like bursting into tears. “There’s no crying in roller derby”—I say screw that. I’ve cried over this sport several times…in the middle of the track…in front of everyone. You care about this SO MUCH, but inside you hurt so badly because you feel like you can’t do this.

The best thing (and the hardest thing) to do is to pick yourself up off the floor. You fell down, several times. Everyone’s giving you 50 billion words of advice in twenty different ways and none of them make sense in your brain. Your feet won’t do what you want. You failed endurance…yet again. Pick yourself up off the floor and try again.

You might feel like all of the other Freshies are ahead of you, or are progressing at a faster rate. I remember watching someone fall down every two seconds (exaggeration) and then have her soar ahead of me and get teamed before I even passed skills. You must remember that everyone comes from different backgrounds. Some derby skaters started skating when they were toddlers, others were in sports growing up. Me? I’ve never been into sports. Band nerd? Sure. Speech Club? Bring it! Honor Society? Yup. Athlete? LOLOLOL.

Athletic before, and still struggling? No worries, not every athlete is inherently a B.A. skater instantaneously. You use lots of different muscles in derby; sometimes ones you never knew existed. Keep putting one skate in front of the other. It’ll hurt, but it’s worth it. Deep down, you know it’s worth it.

“But it’s not just ONE practice. It’s all the time.”

Trash talking yourself degrades your ability to learn. If you feel like bursting into tears or chucking your helmet across the rink, step aside. Take a breather. Grab some water. Tell yourself that this is a sport that requires as much mind power as it does physical exertion. Ain’t no one got time for mind games. C’mon Brain, be better.

Take a step back. How long have you been working on this skill? Have you been focusing on it too much? Are you putting unrealistic expectations and unnecessary pressure on yourself? Try not to look for instant gratification.

Forget the “learning curve” here. This is your journey. It is beautiful and unique. There are bumps (and bruises!) in the road. Pick yourself up off the floor. Put those skates on. Give it your best RAWR face and keep pushing.

Happy skating!

Bitter Sweets <3

Totally biffed it and trying to catch up with the pack. 

Pick yourself up off the floor and get 'em.

Who knows? You might be coming around for points.

So, you're Fresh Meat...again. Part II

In Part I we talked about feeling badly about STILL being Fresh Meat when everyone else has moved on. Hopefully you feel a little differently about your persistence, your tenacity, and your shear awesomeness for even attempting this sport. You are an athlete!! Anyone else feel weird thinking that word? It’s true, though! 

Anyways, if you’re still feeling in a rut about it all (which you might feel this off and on), it’s okay. Here are a few things you can do to try to help yourself through this seemingly awful period between “I can’t stand in my skates” and “Hey, now I’m draft eligible.”

Talk to someone. Find a buddy, a derby sister, a friend. Talk to them about your frustrations, your fears, your hopes—even if you feel like it’s all out of reach. Keep pushing. You are already 100% more awesome than people that won’t even try it. The best thing you can have is some sort of support system. For me, that support system was a group of other skaters struggling with their skills.*

Try not to be negative. “I can’t do the thing…YET.” The word “yet” will become your friend.  People will tell you not to say “I can’t!!!” It turns off coaches, potential teammates, etc. I catch myself saying it from time to time…then I yell the word “YET!” and go out there and try to do the thing I suck at. Getting down on yourself sucks, and sometimes it almost feels out of your control (darn brain). Tell your brain to SUCK IT. Sometimes you just have to tell your brain to shut up because you are going to do the thing. You give it your best mean face. RAWR! Then you fall down anyway. As long as you get up, you’re golden. Maybe you still can’t do the thing…YET. You will, though.

Pair with a vet that’s willing to help you. I’ll admit that some vets don’t want to bother with Freshies. Find one that does. Find one that was in your shoes. They don’t mind that you have to go slow, or you’re really afraid of being hit by them, or you can’t positionally block a jammer behind you (yet). They want to see you succeed! I’ve said “I’m sorry” to these people more times than I can count. I feel like I’m holding them back at practice. I’ve grown now to understand that I’m not. If they don’t want to be my partner, they would find someone else. Take advantage of their knowledge and kindness—and know that they care.

Practice. Do the thing you can’t do. Over and over and over. ONE HUNDRED BILLION TIMES. Okay, maybe not that many. But seriously, practicing will be the only way to get better. It’s scary going to practice with all the vets and all the teammates with their bonds and relationships. *Insert socially awkward me into situation*Insert yourself—even if it’s to wave awkwardly at people you barely know and then biff it when it’s your turn to do transitions. You’re there. TRYING. 

Show heart and dedication to the league. If they are upstanding people, they will accept you. They will cherish you and cheer you on! And when you finally do the thing, they’ll shed tears of joy. You’ll make them proud. They will be your derby family. Keep working hard and your skills will progress. As REO Speedwagon said, “Keep on rolling.” We’re all here for you. Cheering you on.

Keep pushing, and happy skating!

Bitter Sweets <3

*Part of my Wolf Pack. We lean on each other. Always.

(Also super proud my derby sister passed her endurance tonight after 1.5 years of training for it.)

So, you're Fresh Meat...again. Part 1

I want to say Congratulations.

I know that seems harsh or condescending, but it’s honestly not. I’ve been there. Fresh Meat, twice over. Raw Meat? Thawed Meat? Whatever you want to call yourself, you are persistent.

Several times I’ve said to myself “Maybe I’m just too dumb to know when to throw in the towel.” It’s how I felt.

So you didn’t pass your Minimum Skills Tests (MSTs). You didn’t make your endurance. You’re stuck on crossovers. The jump freaks you out. Whatever it is, keep going. Keep pushing. You have to dig deep in yourself, into your soul—your heart. Your confidence gets thrown out the window. You’re the oddball in your normal life. “No, Mom/friend/sibling, I still haven’t made a team.”

Everyone’s practicing with their team, making new friends, new derby sisters—and you’re the oddball at practice. Are you still going to practice? GO TO PRACTICE. It is the hardest and one of the most humbling experiences being the only person at league practice not teamed. You feel dumb, less skilled, out of place. Let me tell you something though, the vets think you’re tenacious. They watch you. They see heart, passion, and persistence. Never Say Die.

You won’t feel yourself getting better. There’s a reason. You keep pushing. It still hurts. It will always hurt if you’re pushing hard enough. The vets will always seem miles ahead of you; they’ve had YEARS of experience. Everyone says “Stop comparing yourself to other skaters.” I try to lie to myself and say that I don’t, but I do. It’s almost nature.

“But…it’s Fresh Meat…AGAIN. How embarrassing!”

No. No it’s not. 

I want to make this point clear:  Everyone's journey is different. Yours will be unique. So what if derby doesn't come naturally to you and you have a long way to go. This is your journey. It is not embarrassing. I promise. Your determination and persistence will pay off, and you'll gain the respect of your derby kin. It will also be much sweeter when you do finish, and you will NEVER take your skills for granted.

Keep pushing and happy skating!


Bitter Sweets <3 

That's me! One of my very first pack skill practices...struggling to keep up.