Zebra Cakes and Other Nuances

“That was a bad call.”

You can not go to a scrimmage or a bout without hearing those words come out of someone’s mouth.

Today I would like to talk about why I feel every derby skater should ref at least once. Just once. (More would be better.) On the soap box today. /cough

Refs are not punching bags. They work really hard to learn rules, learn to skate, breathe with a whistle in their mouth without making noise (DO NOT SNEEZE). They get very little recognition, yet are on their feet the most during the bout.

I know at times people feel the refs are biased. “Why aren’t they giving penalties to the other team?” “Why are they picking on me?” I promise you that this is not the case. Refs can only call what they see.

Even with the freshest of eyes the refs are looking at 20 skates, 20 hands, 20 forearms, and 20 elbows (assuming full pack). This doesn’t even cover things like shoulders into face, railroading, out of bounds, out of play, the list goes on. The refs are not looking at you. They are looking with soft eyes for illegal maneuvers. I don’t look at certain people because they are notorious for elbowing others. I look at the elbow and see who it’s attached to—it might be you…again.

To fully understand what a ref sees, or doesn’t see, you should really check it out for yourself. You’re not looking for your favorite skaters; you’re not watching your favorite team. You’re looking at 10 different skaters all doing their own thing, and trying to make sure everything is executed in a proper manner. I’m sorry I did not see Skater A touch Opposing Skater B—my eyes were at the back of the pack (several feet away) for that millisecond.

Penalties happen in a split second. I’m not saying that you can get away with penalties, or that you should try to get away with them. I’m also not justifying a blatant no call for an elbow to the face. I just want there to be some understanding. I’m not picking on you or your team. I’m not blatantly shrugging off penalties by certain players. I only call what I see (No, I’m not blind).

It's not fun to feel like this after a scrimmage/bout:

(Photo from weebls-stuff Kenya Believe It video. Totally hilarious.)

As Trixie Horror once said, if you’re upset about a penalty that you don’t think you should have gotten, just remember all those other times you SHOULD have gotten a penalty and didn’t.

 

If you have some suggestions about how to make it better, that’s awesome! I would implore you to make sure you’ve thought about them rationally—not in a penalty-induced rage. Think about the logistics of reffing, and how hard it actually is. If you think you can do lots to better the ref crew, strap on your skates and put those stripes on!

Until such time though, I strongly urge you to try it just once to see what it’s like. Or even if you’re not on the ref crew—watch a scrimmage as if you were a ref. It’s not about picking on certain players or favoring teams, it’s about reffing a fluid and consistent bout from start to finish.

Put on zee stripes. Enjoy the zebra jokes. Appreciate the zeebs. Come at the game with a different perspective. Hell…it might even make you a better skater.

Stripey-Stripes and Happy Skating!

Bitter Sweets <3

 Looking all official and stuff. I point at people sometimes.

(Photo by Kate Wood Raclin)

Drama Llama

I thought a lot about how I wanted to start this particular blog. I wrote a bunch of stuff and erased it. It all felt too stuffy. Here’s the deal: you joined a league, there’s a lot of people, a lot of personalities—there’s going to be drama.

Some people are drama queens; we know this. But then there’s the worst kind of drama. Drama within your own posse. Even worse—unintentional drama within your own posse (Yes, posse. I know it’s no longer 1996, thank you).

Unintentional drama creates the worst rifts. If it was drama for the sake of drama it can almost be brushed off. “OMG _____ is such a drama queen. WHATEVER.” Moving on. But, you can’t do that with unintentional drama. Someone said or did something over there that offended someone else without meaning to. *Insert drama

Nobody really knows how to deal with this drama. It stays on the down low until it explodes into a fiery wave of doom. Everyone is on the defensive side, and someone else is always to blame.

THIS ACCOMPLISHES NOTHING.

Everyone suffers as a consequence. Headstrong players appear stubborn and mean. Quiet players seem inconsolable. The drama continues to spin.

Recognize different personalities. Some people are sensitive, quiet, and reserved. Others are loquacious, opinionated, and have strong personalities. None of these traits are negative qualities; they just butt heads sometimes (making people buttheads---see what I did there?).

By being a bit more sensitive toward other people, you’ll pick up on emotions and tension quicker than someone with the “What the F ever” attitude. Nip the problem quickly before it creates a gap between a larger group of skaters, which could cause even bigger problems for the longevity and reputation of your league. Plus, no one wants their team to be associated with unnecessary drama.

Be a tad sensitive.

Understand that someone else will perceive situations differently than you.

Know that your actions and words have consequences.

Don’t be the drama llama.

Work quickly to shut down the drama before it creates larger issues.

Resolve the issue. Apologize for any misunderstandings—even if your words were misconstrued. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean for X to sound like Y.” (Damn those Ys!!!)

Most of all: appreciate your teammates, your leaguemates, your coaches, your NSOs, your refs. Without them there would be no derby. They all work so the derbies can happen. That means YOU get to play. So shut down the drama, turn left, work hard.

Happy Skating!

Bitter Sweets <3

 Much like this wheel bruise, the Drama Llama leaves its mark.

You'll forget the pain until it *subtly* reminds you occasionally.

How long will it last this time?

(Photo by me. Ouchies, my thigh.)

So, You Popped Your Bout Cherry...

Post-First Bout Evaluation

OMG! You finished your first bout! You can’t believe it! Wasn’t it half-time before you knew it? Then all of a sudden it was over. Your very first bout EVER. How do you feel?

If you’re like me, you play on a rookie or “B” team. I almost feel lucky in this regard. I get more play time, and I don’t feel like I have to compete with vets that have played for years for a spot on the roster.

However, some of you are awesome enough to have amazing skills and take that A team slot that’s open! Rock Star! I hope you got a lot of awesome game time in!

Now that it’s over though, you definitely will be thinking about it. A lot.

Directly after the bout advice:

Don’t think too hard about what happened. Your mind is completely overloaded right now. You’re running off of pure adrenaline and instinct. Your emotions will be high, even if they don’t show on your face. Beating yourself up about mistakes you made, calls the refs made, your coach not putting you in, etc. will not help you get the most out of your bout day.

Don’t ruin this for yourself!

Take that derby high that you had during the game and reflect upon that. How spectacular was it to play in an actual jam? Score those points? Make that blocking wall?

How many people have DREAMED to be in your skates at that point, but are too afraid to do it? You rock! You’re really an official derby skater now! ATHLETE!

You had your derby kin rooting for you, skating with you, skating against you. You’re on their level! You are! Let it sink in a moment. *breathe* You did this! ANNNNNDD…You’re going to do it again!

So, take a moment. Be happy, enjoy what just happened, even if your team lost. Even if they lost by a sh*t ton (totally a measurable quantity). Even if you got penalties, made mistakes, sat on the bench forever waiting to be put in. Don’t dwell on that crap now. ‘Cause right now, it doesn’t matter. What matters most right now is your accomplishment. Achievement unlocked. First bout under your belt.

GO CELEBRATE! My first bout ended with semi-blizzard conditions and poop-tastic roads. I wanted to go home.  Someone reminded me—this is your first bout. There are many like it, but this one is yours (anyone see what I did there?). Anyways, it really is something to be proud of. Go to the after party and keep that derby high going for a little while longer, reflect on all the ifs, ands, or buts tomorrow. In bed. With pizza. Because you’re body isn’t going to want to do anything else unless it involved a bubble bath. So, party your little heart out tonight. You definitely deserve it after ALL your hard work!

                 

Congratulations and Happy Skating!!!

Bitter Sweets <3

 Bout Day Warm-Up! Part of my rookie team Gang Green.

Have fun, wear tutus, and hit some b*tches!

(Photo by Kate Wood Raclin)

First Bout Jitters

“There’s nothing like your first bout. You will never forget it!”—That’s what people say. That’s what they tell you. I’m sure it’s true, I don’t know for a fact because I just played in my first bout. I’m looking forward to many more, but I couldn’t help but wonder what other advice I needed to hear.

You probably feel nervous, anxious, excitable thinking about your first bout EVER. I was asked several times in the weeks leading up to it “How do you feel? Are you excited? Are you nervous?” No matter what I answered, there were words of encouragement. But I couldn’t really put into words how I felt. Mostly I think it seemed surreal. After training and trying to pass minimum skills for SO LONG, my brain was just in practice mode.

Are you panicking? I didn’t really feel the panic or anxiety until I was on my way to the arena that day. The closer I got the more my mind panicked thinking about the track, the people, the gameplay. My stomach felt like it did a flip. I felt like I needed to use the restroom—whether to poop or puke, I wasn’t sure. In that moment I was glad I had asked for some advice for getting ready to bout.

First Bout Advice:

Prepare. It’s bout week—make sure you have everything you need. Wash your pads. Clean your bearings and wheels. Don’t forget your mouthguard!! Put together your boutfit. Make sure it’s stuff you feel comfortable in, as well as appropriate for the floor you’ll be falling on (fishnets on concrete = ouchies). Know what you’re going to do with you with your hair/makeup. Bring stuff like deodorant, extra shorts/socks, duct tape, skate tool, laces, aspirin, small snacks, water, YOUR JERSEY.

Check your diet. Did you drink enough water? Be hydrated, but not so much that it’s all sloshy in your stomach. Eat smart. Apparently carbohydrates the day before is really good (or so I’ve been told by my coach). YAY! Eat ALL the pasta! Try not to drink alcohol or eat a bunch of junk food, though.

Know the details. Check with your coach for the itinerary (what time to be there, when to do warmups, start time, etc). Do you need cash for the day? Does parking cost money? Do you need a skater pass? How are intros going to be run?

Go poop. I had this told to me more than once. I thought it was odd, until I was driving to the arena. Your nerves make you feel like you have to use the restroom, whether you need to or not. Try to do it. Don’t forget about all the water you were supposed to drink, too. You don’t want to pee a little when you fall down—and you definitely don’t want to be worrying about it on the track.

Breathe. You’ve gone to enough practices, you have the skills, and you know how to use them. Just breathe. You got this. After the first couple of jams your nerves will start to calm down. This is your track.

Listen to your coach. They have so much experience and knowledge. Try not to take it personally when things happen. You might get pulled off the line up here or there, you might get a penalty you disagree with, your coach might scold you for something you did/didn’t do. Take it as it comes, listen, but don’t dwell. Have “Jamnesia.” Don’t sulk in what happened last jam. Last jam is SOOOOO over. K? Moving on.

Remember to have fun. This is most important. You joined derby to have fun—that’s most important to remember. Smile! Enjoy it; the bout will go so quickly you won’t even realize it’s already halftime. Leave your home-life baggage at the door (forget what’s troubling you at home, at work, wherever). Savor the jam and look excited to go in. Having a “derby high” is a real thing, and you don’t know what it feels like until it happens. Ride it. Adrenaline will also kick in, and you won’t feel those bruises until later. It all happens so quickly, so trust yourself and your team, kick some ass, and have fun!

If you have any bout-week rituals worth mentioning, leave a comment!

Thanks for reading, and happy skating!

Bitter Sweets <3

Last Blocker in green! First bout EVER!
(Photo by Steve Yates)