Drama Llama

I thought a lot about how I wanted to start this particular blog. I wrote a bunch of stuff and erased it. It all felt too stuffy. Here’s the deal: you joined a league, there’s a lot of people, a lot of personalities—there’s going to be drama.

Some people are drama queens; we know this. But then there’s the worst kind of drama. Drama within your own posse. Even worse—unintentional drama within your own posse (Yes, posse. I know it’s no longer 1996, thank you).

Unintentional drama creates the worst rifts. If it was drama for the sake of drama it can almost be brushed off. “OMG _____ is such a drama queen. WHATEVER.” Moving on. But, you can’t do that with unintentional drama. Someone said or did something over there that offended someone else without meaning to. *Insert drama

Nobody really knows how to deal with this drama. It stays on the down low until it explodes into a fiery wave of doom. Everyone is on the defensive side, and someone else is always to blame.

THIS ACCOMPLISHES NOTHING.

Everyone suffers as a consequence. Headstrong players appear stubborn and mean. Quiet players seem inconsolable. The drama continues to spin.

Recognize different personalities. Some people are sensitive, quiet, and reserved. Others are loquacious, opinionated, and have strong personalities. None of these traits are negative qualities; they just butt heads sometimes (making people buttheads---see what I did there?).

By being a bit more sensitive toward other people, you’ll pick up on emotions and tension quicker than someone with the “What the F ever” attitude. Nip the problem quickly before it creates a gap between a larger group of skaters, which could cause even bigger problems for the longevity and reputation of your league. Plus, no one wants their team to be associated with unnecessary drama.

Be a tad sensitive.

Understand that someone else will perceive situations differently than you.

Know that your actions and words have consequences.

Don’t be the drama llama.

Work quickly to shut down the drama before it creates larger issues.

Resolve the issue. Apologize for any misunderstandings—even if your words were misconstrued. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean for X to sound like Y.” (Damn those Ys!!!)

Most of all: appreciate your teammates, your leaguemates, your coaches, your NSOs, your refs. Without them there would be no derby. They all work so the derbies can happen. That means YOU get to play. So shut down the drama, turn left, work hard.

Happy Skating!

Bitter Sweets <3

 Much like this wheel bruise, the Drama Llama leaves its mark.

You'll forget the pain until it *subtly* reminds you occasionally.

How long will it last this time?

(Photo by me. Ouchies, my thigh.)

So, you're Fresh Meat...again. Part II

In Part I we talked about feeling badly about STILL being Fresh Meat when everyone else has moved on. Hopefully you feel a little differently about your persistence, your tenacity, and your shear awesomeness for even attempting this sport. You are an athlete!! Anyone else feel weird thinking that word? It’s true, though! 

Anyways, if you’re still feeling in a rut about it all (which you might feel this off and on), it’s okay. Here are a few things you can do to try to help yourself through this seemingly awful period between “I can’t stand in my skates” and “Hey, now I’m draft eligible.”

Talk to someone. Find a buddy, a derby sister, a friend. Talk to them about your frustrations, your fears, your hopes—even if you feel like it’s all out of reach. Keep pushing. You are already 100% more awesome than people that won’t even try it. The best thing you can have is some sort of support system. For me, that support system was a group of other skaters struggling with their skills.*

Try not to be negative. “I can’t do the thing…YET.” The word “yet” will become your friend.  People will tell you not to say “I can’t!!!” It turns off coaches, potential teammates, etc. I catch myself saying it from time to time…then I yell the word “YET!” and go out there and try to do the thing I suck at. Getting down on yourself sucks, and sometimes it almost feels out of your control (darn brain). Tell your brain to SUCK IT. Sometimes you just have to tell your brain to shut up because you are going to do the thing. You give it your best mean face. RAWR! Then you fall down anyway. As long as you get up, you’re golden. Maybe you still can’t do the thing…YET. You will, though.

Pair with a vet that’s willing to help you. I’ll admit that some vets don’t want to bother with Freshies. Find one that does. Find one that was in your shoes. They don’t mind that you have to go slow, or you’re really afraid of being hit by them, or you can’t positionally block a jammer behind you (yet). They want to see you succeed! I’ve said “I’m sorry” to these people more times than I can count. I feel like I’m holding them back at practice. I’ve grown now to understand that I’m not. If they don’t want to be my partner, they would find someone else. Take advantage of their knowledge and kindness—and know that they care.

Practice. Do the thing you can’t do. Over and over and over. ONE HUNDRED BILLION TIMES. Okay, maybe not that many. But seriously, practicing will be the only way to get better. It’s scary going to practice with all the vets and all the teammates with their bonds and relationships. *Insert socially awkward me into situation*Insert yourself—even if it’s to wave awkwardly at people you barely know and then biff it when it’s your turn to do transitions. You’re there. TRYING. 

Show heart and dedication to the league. If they are upstanding people, they will accept you. They will cherish you and cheer you on! And when you finally do the thing, they’ll shed tears of joy. You’ll make them proud. They will be your derby family. Keep working hard and your skills will progress. As REO Speedwagon said, “Keep on rolling.” We’re all here for you. Cheering you on.

Keep pushing, and happy skating!

Bitter Sweets <3

*Part of my Wolf Pack. We lean on each other. Always.

(Also super proud my derby sister passed her endurance tonight after 1.5 years of training for it.)

So, you're Fresh Meat...again. Part 1

I want to say Congratulations.

I know that seems harsh or condescending, but it’s honestly not. I’ve been there. Fresh Meat, twice over. Raw Meat? Thawed Meat? Whatever you want to call yourself, you are persistent.

Several times I’ve said to myself “Maybe I’m just too dumb to know when to throw in the towel.” It’s how I felt.

So you didn’t pass your Minimum Skills Tests (MSTs). You didn’t make your endurance. You’re stuck on crossovers. The jump freaks you out. Whatever it is, keep going. Keep pushing. You have to dig deep in yourself, into your soul—your heart. Your confidence gets thrown out the window. You’re the oddball in your normal life. “No, Mom/friend/sibling, I still haven’t made a team.”

Everyone’s practicing with their team, making new friends, new derby sisters—and you’re the oddball at practice. Are you still going to practice? GO TO PRACTICE. It is the hardest and one of the most humbling experiences being the only person at league practice not teamed. You feel dumb, less skilled, out of place. Let me tell you something though, the vets think you’re tenacious. They watch you. They see heart, passion, and persistence. Never Say Die.

You won’t feel yourself getting better. There’s a reason. You keep pushing. It still hurts. It will always hurt if you’re pushing hard enough. The vets will always seem miles ahead of you; they’ve had YEARS of experience. Everyone says “Stop comparing yourself to other skaters.” I try to lie to myself and say that I don’t, but I do. It’s almost nature.

“But…it’s Fresh Meat…AGAIN. How embarrassing!”

No. No it’s not. 

I want to make this point clear:  Everyone's journey is different. Yours will be unique. So what if derby doesn't come naturally to you and you have a long way to go. This is your journey. It is not embarrassing. I promise. Your determination and persistence will pay off, and you'll gain the respect of your derby kin. It will also be much sweeter when you do finish, and you will NEVER take your skills for granted.

Keep pushing and happy skating!


Bitter Sweets <3 

That's me! One of my very first pack skill practices...struggling to keep up.

Ice Breaker

Welcome, friends!

This is officially my first season as a Rollergirl for Fountain City Roller Derby, skating under the M.A.D.E. ruleset. I started with the league in 2014 as Fresh Meat. I had only strapped on a pair of skates once when I was twelve at some kid’s birthday party. I don’t even remember whose. After failing my Minimum Skills Test (several times), I found solace in reffing for the last half of the 2014 season, while attending practice as a member of no team.

I’ve finally passed all my skills for 2015, and I’m set to skate in my first bout on February 28^th.

I know it may not sound like much. Why should you take advice from a Freshie?

As a newbie, Fresh Meat---twice over, n00b, whatever you want to call me, I want to document my experience along the way. Experiences, thoughts, hopes, doubts, and observations abound! I may not have 10 years of skating derby under my belt (yet, anyway), but I may have a “Fresh” perspective (see what I did there?).

In the time to come there are all sorts of topics I wish to post about, and I hope you’ll enjoy and comment. Tune in for my next post in The Juke Box for some real derby talk.

Happy skating!

Bitter Sweets <3